Have you ever noticed that the same experience keeps showing up in your life or business?
Different people.
Different circumstances.
Exactly the same feeling.
Lately, I’ve been experiencing one of those patterns, and if I’m completely honest, it left me in tears more than once. I found myself asking, “Why does this keep happening to me?”
As always, my spiritual team had a different perspective.
Instead of asking why me, they gently reminded me to ask, What am I meant to learn from this?
The frustrating part?
I couldn’t see it.
No matter how much I reflected, journaled or meditated, I couldn’t work out what I was missing. Eventually, I mapped out the entire situation in ChatGPT to help me look at it from another perspective. Buried deep within all the analysis was one sentence that stopped me in my tracks.
It was one of those “OMG” moments.
Suddenly everything made sense.
The lesson wasn’t about the people involved.
It was about me.
If I’m honest, sharing stories like this makes me cringe a little. Part of me worries about being judged. Another part worries that people will twist my words or bring them up years later. It’s a trigger I’ve carried since childhood, and I’m still working through it.
But I also know that when I’m vulnerable, it often helps someone else recognise their own patterns.
So here goes…
When I work with clients, I genuinely care.
I don’t believe in doing the bare minimum.
People often hire me for one specific service, but because I love helping, I naturally start supporting them with other areas too. Before I know it, I’m doing work well outside the original agreement. Sometimes that even means working until 2.00 am because I want to make sure everything is perfect.
Then, one day, the project ends.
Sometimes they no longer need my services. Sometimes their business changes direction. Sometimes they simply move on.
And if I’m being completely transparent, I’ve occasionally been left feeling used and hurt because I’ve given so much more than I was ever paid for.
Recently, a client hired me to manage their social media.
During our conversations, they shared that they had lost access to their website after difficulties with their previous web designer. I knew there was a way to recover much of the site’s history through the Web Archive, so I offered to help rebuild sections of it.
I didn’t quote for the work.
I didn’t charge extra.
I simply absorbed it into the project because I wanted to help.
Eventually, they decided they no longer needed my services. They also raised concerns about other aspects of their business that had nothing to do with the work I’d completed.
And there I was again…
Feeling hurt.
Feeling disappointed.
Asking, “Why does this keep happening?”
This time, though, I finally understood.
The lesson wasn’t that I should stop caring.
It wasn’t that I should stop helping.
It was that I needed healthier boundaries.
Helping someone doesn’t mean giving away your expertise for free.
Being kind doesn’t mean undervaluing yourself.
Going above and beyond doesn’t mean sacrificing your own business.
My lesson was beautifully simple:
When someone asks for work outside the original scope, it’s perfectly okay to smile and say,
“Absolutely, I’d love to help. Let me prepare a quote for that additional work.”
That’s not being greedy.
That’s respecting your time, your knowledge and your business.
I know so many empaths, healers and intuitive business owners who struggle with this.
We lead with our hearts.
We want to help.
We want to make a difference.
But somewhere along the way, we’ve convinced ourselves that saying “yes” to everything makes us a better person.
It doesn’t.
It often leaves us exhausted, underpaid and wondering why we’re working so hard without seeing the financial rewards.
So perhaps the real lesson is this.
When emotions start bubbling to the surface, don’t ignore them.
Pause.
Take stock.
Ask yourself what pattern keeps repeating.
Then create systems and boundaries that honour both your heart and your business.
Because you can be generous and strategic.
You can be compassionate and profitable.
You can lead with love without giving away your value.
Maybe that’s the lesson you’ve been waiting to discover too.
With love,
Anne
